Friendship Is Not Love
might not be an expert on what LOVE is, but I certainly know what love is NOT... It's not friendship and should not be confused with it... There's a friend that's more faithful than kin, but that friendship is rooted in LOVE, that which makes the friendship true.

Agápe (αγάπη agápē)  means "love" in modern day Greek, such as in the term s'agapo (Σ'αγαπώ), which means "I love you". In Ancient Greek, it often refers to a general affection or deeper sense of "true love" rather than the attraction suggested by romance or any other form of love. Friendship has to be based on this kind of love or is not true at all.

Agápe is the highest form of love... used in the biblical passage known as the "love chapter", 1 Corinthians 13, and described there and throughout the New Testament as sacrificial love, one that does NOT expect anything in return. Agápe is also used in ancient texts to denote feelings for one's children, and the feelings for a spouse. It can be described, among other things, as the feeling of being content or holding one in high regard.

¡Don't be fooled! Some friendships do not last, but some friends are more loyal than family, whom you love. A TRUE friend is always there and loves... regardless; so prize an honest answer from a friend even if it hurts because this is a sign of TRUE friendship... not a weenie. The Bible says that the wounds of a friend are faithful. HOW TRUE that is!

¿What? ¿Me Worry?
It has been said that there are two days that people worry most about but should actually worry least about: Yesterday and Tomorrow. We worry about yesterday - the mistakes we've made and what we would like to do over or differently. Yet, there is nothing we can do to change yesterday. Our worries are wasted.

We also worry about tomorrow - the problems it may bring and the challenge we may face. Yet, we cannot control tomorrow. It is out of our grasp. So again, our worries are wasted. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. —Matthew 6:34

It All Ends... Sometime
complained I had no shoes, until I met someone who had no feet.... then I realized how there's always someone with a bigger pain than yours... I had dinner with Esteban, a missionary to South América who is battling with terminal cancer. Yet happy with his destiny he said. "Orlando.... As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you... Abide in my love." He had quoted John 15:9 to tell me that he had given his ALL to his call... and that God loved him... and me, too... and that he knew where he was going... and that I should feel likewise... and that God's love is the best there is... and that I should love others THAT HARD... and not to quit doing it... and to abide and stay in that love...  By that time I knew, with a tear in the corner of my eye, though Satan should afflict him and problems should come... that there was a blessed assurance that controlled it ALL... that IT WAS ALL WELL in his soul! ¡WOW!

The Stereo...type
ave you ever seen a Puerto Rican driving on the street without a little flag or a bumper sticker on his car or a pair of tiny boxing gloves hanging from the rear view mirror that depict the Puerto Rico flag?  As Puerto Ricans in the United States we have an innate necessity to establish our identity towards our peers. Throughout the years, our effort to be properly recognized among the ethnic groups, has been dimmed by stereotypes. These stereotypes catalogue ethnic groups according to the perception of one or two individual or groups. For example, if in a particular group, the men drink beer and watch the television while the women wear make-up and go to the mall, the stereotype concludes that those men of such group are lazy and the women are vain. I do not have to reiterate that occasionally we have been victims of the such phenomenon.

The stereotypes unjustly have placed a label of third class citizenship in the majority of the Hispanic groups that emigrate to North America, but the Puerto Ricans have been those that have voiced the most ardent protests. Boricuas, peculiarly like red hot chili peppers, tends not to remain silent or "callaos " when treated unjustly and sometimes the protest is manifested as a hostile act. Unfortunately, "the studies" have determined that this contributes to the stereotype. A wise man said once that "a tree is known by its fruit. " For that reason, JIBAROS.COM, is collaborating with civic organizations in the Los Angeles area to raise to the image of the Boricua Community, the way of civic works, parades and activities of charity.

For that reason Year 2011, shall we claim by uniting into our Communities. Why the Year 2011?  Because it’s a great starting point to acquire our proper place of responsibility in the social and political strata of the communities in which we live. This means that each Puerto Rican must morally give his commitment to THAT social unity, since “a cord of three strand is not easily broken.” JIBAROS.COM has committed itself to being a bastion towards such goal and I hope that each one of you, our readers and associates, is united to being a complete part of such a humble effort. 

¿What Matters 2U? Create a more fulfilling life when you decide to focus on the things that matter most. Ever feel like you are living on automatic pilot? Many of us spend time fulfilling obligations and doing things we don’t truly want to be doing. We get stuck in old conditioning about what and who we are supposed to be. We react to old reflexes instead of truly engaging in life. Every once in a while we need to stop and reflect on what really matters to us and make a conscious choice to reorder our priorities.

Reckoning... Wassdat?
 ¿WASSDAT? Accountability... ¿Do you have to account  for yourself to be affirmed? ¿Who keeps track of you?

eglect of our primal needs for validation and affirmation belongs into a bottomless bucket somewhere in the past, but sooner or later, the purity and kindness of our soul comes out timely and unscathed... redeeming itself with life.  Consequential healing is part of that life... one that goes on within us or without us. Ultimately, when no merit has been affirmed by our peers, this becomes a dangerous oversight that is discerned and addressed spiritually.

Sadly... our natural minds cannot comprehend these things because they have to be discerned  and addressed spiritually. Self cannot bring healing to the soul... because repairing a wound that you can't see will seem just foolishness. Puerto Rican jibaros are very spiritual, but some who come to the USA lose that virtue by becoming "natural", ergo, plain as God made them, with no improvement to their souls.

Some day the secrets of the heart will surface for us to see all we've done. Good or bad, they'll be scrutinized accordingly. It's called RECKONING. When it comes to doing what we know is RIGHT (as opposed to what we 'feel' is right) many of us fall to abysmal dismay. Follow your soul... you'll be glad you did!

The Need for Friends
have a limited amount of friends. Probably because my kind of friendship requires nurturing and dedication. My present physical disabilities hinder me from doing many things, like playing in public (a musician for 45 years). My only circle of friends is on the Internet because one can do that even with many limitations.

The lack of interaction in my life is probably because I have have admittedly considered myself somewhat of a curmudgeon, "too sensitive" and soft-hearted with a distaste for mediocrity. Morbid? No. Realist. Once you think about me with empathy... we can bond intellectually. That's the only way to vicariously experience the feelings, thoughts or attitudes of another person. If I don't see a bond, I'll pretend to hide behind a wall of misanthropy.

Please forgive me... It is not my intention to seek sympathy or sound tragic. This is just how identify myself to my friends. Recently I told someone that "all I need is six friends for when I'm dead... three on each side of the coffin". He mentioned that, because I'm old and overweight, I might need more than just six. Now, there you have a person who "has no hair on his tongue."

¿Like mother like son?

¡Like father like son!

Out of The Frying Pan...
Update by Don Jibaro
he wheels of time grind on... well, more than it should be, but I am grinding much better. Last month was a scary one, car accident, arrhythmia, etc... but today no more. The biggie was a diagnosis of cardiac arrhythmia, or atrial fibrillation, an offbeat heart rhythm that involves the two upper chambers (atria) of the heart. It’s like dancing with someone who limps. 

You may have noticed that JIBAROS.COM has changed the theme colors and I added some new items... including "Don Jíbaro's Dictionary", matching a serio-comic graphic to an uncanny definition.

Moving on to it, the season of Puerto Rican summer festivals in California is passing by faster this year as they become an endangered species. Many of them are turning into Salsa Festivals with some artists grabbing their crotches while they talk angry at you, a thing which is not necessarily Puerto Rican nor Cultural. Can we expect better the future?

I've been to a few Día de San Juan venues where the name of the "Seven Trips into the Ocean" nor John The Baptist was not even mentioned. I'm working on an article about it to, in a small way, enlighten the PR Diáspora.

Also in Califa, a too-long-waited-for Puerto Rican Restaurant waaay out in the boonies of San Bernardino... about 1.75 hours (67.4 miles) east of L.A. – Would ride a mile for a Camel? The trek could be well worthy. More on this as it develops.

Sooner or later, the purity and kindness of our heart comes out timely and unscathed... Neglect of our primal needs for validation and affirmation belongs into a bottomless bucket neglected somewhere in the past. Consequential healing is part of life, thus life goes on within us or without us. Ultimately, when no merit has been affirmed by our peers, this becomes a neglect that has to be discerned and addressed spiritually.

Sadly... our natural brothers cannot comprehend these things because, since have to be discerned and addressed spiritually, they cannot do it... because they are foolishness to them. Puerto Rican jibaros are very spiritual, but some who come to the USA lose that virtue by becoming "natural", ergo, plain as God made them, with no improvement to their souls.

Some day the secrets of the heart will surface for us to see all we've done. Good or bad, they'll be scrutinized accordingly. It's called RECKONING. Subsequently,the spiritual mandate is to that what we KNOW is RIGHT, rather than what we "FEEL" is right. The emotions almost always betray you and thus many of our brothers fall to abismal dismay that leads to tragedy.

The folly of working with others...
riting from experience, I believe that trying to get people to work together is a very difficult task. Having to get some Puerto Rican people to work together is a monumental task. Why do I think so??

Simply, trying to be different and unique, we neglect the complex cultural background and disturbed historical strata that we share. This affects how we behave in a daily basis. It also, has some balance in how and why some of us think and act the way we do... even in a subconscious level.

Our desire to different and unique could be an asset or a liability

Case in point: As a Puerto Rican who volunteers in various projects in Los Angeles, where mostly other Boricuas work, I find that for the most part, no one wants to be told what to do, especially when they are not getting paid for it. Everybody wants to do what is right in his or her own eyes. Even when presented with a more expedient way to do a task, many times we refuse to accept it... at least at first. We want to think of that more excellent way ourselves. We want the validation and recognition. We crave it!  We want to be important. If we don’t get that satisfaction, look out, folks… because here comes trouble!!!

In a cooperative collaboration, not all can be chiefs. Logic, combined with a spirit of fellowship, should rule any decision making process. Allow me to equate LOGIC with COMMON SENSE... synonymous with “that which fits the best”.

The other day some lady stormed out of a volunteer office after she decided that all the rest of the volunteers with which she had been working for the fast eleven months, were “all trash”. I learned later that she had heated arguments with almost all the volunteers, insulted the project manager, and she had been visiting and getting “insight” with another lady who had quit for similar reasons months earlier.

Us Puerto Ricans use a dynamic word that I love… it conveys the idea of taking a long strand of cord and making a ball that it’s so intertwined that it is impossible to undo. That word is “BOCHINCHE”. The word implies way much more than mere gossip, it actually seeks to destroy harmony. The spirit of the bochinchero(a) will not abide by any rules of harmony and fair play. These people thrive in creating discord among their peers and rejoice when the “poo-poo hits the fan.”

Ass or Donkey? DEPT.
The Incomprehensible Art of Pleasing Others
ack in the early 1900s in the town of Toa Alta in Puerto Rico, a farmer and his daughter were driving their donkey to the town's square to sell him. They had not gone far when they met with a troop of women collected around a colmadito, talking and laughing.

“Look there,” cried one of them, “did you ever see such jibaros, to be trucking along the road on foot when they might ride?’ The old man hearing this, quickly made his daughter mount the donkey, and continued to walk along merrily by his side. Presently they came up to a group of old men in earnest chat.

“There,” said one of them, “it proves what I was a-saying. What respect is shown to old age in these days? Do you see that idle "muchacha" riding while his old father has to walk? Get down, you young "manganzona", and let the old jibaro rest his tired legs.” Upon this the old man made his daughter dismount, and got up himself. In this manner they had not gone too far when they met another company of women and children:

“Why, you lazy old jibaro,” cried several tongues at once, “how can you ride upon the beast, while that poor little "muchachita" there can hardly keep pace by the side of you?’ The good-natured farmer immediately took up his daughter behind him. They had now almost reached the town.

“Pray, honest friend,” said another citizen, “is that donkey yours?’ “Yes,” replied the old jibaro. “Ay Bendito, one would not have thought so,” said the other, “by the way you load him. Why, you two are better able to carry the poor beast than he you.” “Anything to please you,” said the old jibaro; “we can but try.”

So, alighting with his daughter, they tied the legs of the donkey together and with the help of a pole endeavored to carry him on their shoulders over a bridge near the entrance to the town.

This entertaining sight brought the people in crowds to laugh at it, till the donkey, not liking the noise nor the strange handling that he was subject to, broke the cords that bound him and, tumbling off the pole, fell into the river. Upon this, the old man, vexed and ashamed, made the best of his way home again, convinced that by endeavoring to please everybody he had pleased nobody, and lost his Ass in the bargain.

LESSON: When you try to please everyone... you might lose your ass in the bargain... so don't even try.

Boricua Unity
ave you ever seen a Puerto Rican driving on the street without a little flag or a bumper sticker on his car or a pair of tiny boxing gloves hanging from the rear view mirror that depict the Puerto Rico flag? Not many... at least un the USA.

As Puerto Ricans in the United States we have an innate necessity to establish our identity towards our peers. Throughout the years, our effort to be properly recognized among the ethnic groups, has been dimmed by stereotypes. These stereotypes catalogue ethnic groups according to the perception of one or two individual or groups. For example, if in a particular group, the men drink beer and watch the television while the women wear make-up and go to the mall, the stereotype concludes that those men of such group are lazy and the women are vain. I do not have to reiterate that occasionally we have been victims of the such phenomenon... or perpetrators, for that matter.

Stereotypes place an unfair and inaccurate label of third class citizenship in the majority of the Hispanic groups that emigrate to North America, but the Puerto Ricans have been those that have voiced the most ardent protests. Boricuas, peculiarly like red hot chili peppers, tends not to remain silent or "callaos " when treated unjustly and sometimes the protest is manifested as a hostile act. Unfortunately, "the studies" have determined that this contributes to the stereotype. A wise man said once that "a tree is known by its fruit. " For that reason I set as a goal the edification of the image of the Boricua Community at large, in the way of civic works, parades and activities of charity.

For that reason I declare the year 2008, as the Year Of the Puerto Ricans, who must claim it by uniting into the Boricua Communities. Why the Year 2008? No particular reason, just because it’s a great starting point to acquire our proper place of responsibility in the social and political strata of the communities in which we live. This means that each Puerto Rican must give his moral commitment to THAT social unity, since “a cord of three strand is not easily broken.” Untie! ...er, I mean, UNITE!

¿Why Write?
want to write as of one who has lived enough to remember and make scrutinies about the validity and consequences life experiences. As a Puerto Rican I gotta take my writing somewhat seriously, making sure that what it is said is what it is meant. As an ethnos we deal with types, stereotypes, stigmas and presuppositions that might shed an ambiguous light upon one’s character. We want to avoid that.

What it is true about us as a culture might be true about any other culture in the world, but it is up to us to paint that culture with vivid colors that provide an atmosphere of excitement and fulfillment. That’s who we are. You can see it in our music, our lifestyle; even in our legacy. Everything that we do is done passionately.

There was no color “mauve” when I was a kid. We had “browncito” or “color carne”. We didn’t have sanitation or maintenance engineers, we had trash men and janitors. The purpose of this writing is to provide the flavor our Puerto Rican culture in what I hope to be a new color. There are new inflections, discoveries and revelations that are constantly being categorized as “new”.

What I do is written primarily for the benefit of the myriad of Boricuas who are born outside of the island of Puerto Rico, who were born and live in the United States, as well as many other parts of the world and don’t have first hand knowledge about the culture that gave them birth.

I have tried to make the text to flow in no particular order. So you can start reading anywhere. It makes no difference. The stories are true; based on my own experiences growing up in Puerto Rico and sojourning later through the Caribbean to United States until I found my niche under a Mexican bridge

Peace and Prosperity!

“Live in such a way that no one blames the rest of us  
nor finds fault with our work.” --(2 Corinthians 6:3)