Mrs. Gonzalez just had a baby, and her husband is so excited, he's recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

BEST RAMITO

"QUE BONITA BANDERA"

BEST PALMIERI

Safe Shopping
 

 

1900s PR Music

 




—Ejpanglishiao by Don Jibaro—

‘Twas the Night Before Crijmas y en to'ita la casa,
Not a chango was stirring —¡Caramba! ¿Qué pasa?
The niños were tuck’d... away in their camas,
Some in calzoncillos and some in pijamas,

I hung all the stockings con mucho cuida'o
So that Santa Clós ejtuviera obliga'o
To bring all the children, los buenos y malos,
A bag of marrallos y d'otros regalos.

Out in el Batey, alguien se echó un grito
Yo me levanté like a scared cochinito.
I ran to the window y miré pa’ fuera,
¿And who in the world, te creiste que era?

Was Santa in a sleigh with a big yella' pava
Came dashing along, gordo como ejtaba.
Instead of venados pulling his trineo...
He had ocho burros y to’j eran feos.


I watched as they came y el gordito hombre
Was shouting y así los llamaba por nombre:
“Arre Papo y Tato, echa Cuco y Beto,
Vuelen, Chato, Moncho, Pompín y Anacleto!"

Then standing erect... la mano en el pecho
He flew to the top of our very own techo.
With his big round belly, cual pote ’e jalea,
He struggled to squeeze in por la chimenea,


Then huffing and puffing, se calló en la sala ,
With soot smeared all over su traje de gala,
He filled all the stockings con lindos regalos
Because the muchachos hadn’t been muy malos.

Then chuckling aloud, felíz y contento,
Took  the "juyilanga..." veloz como el viento.
But I heard him say... y ésta es la verdad,
—“Ya es Crijsmas, Boricuas... Felíz Navidad!”—




  Email Don Jibaro

A Biker's Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the pad,
There was nada happenin', now thats pretty bad...

A Breastfeeding Christmas
'Twas a holiday eve and the babe was asleep,
Swaddled tight in his crib he made not a peep...

A Dieter's Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips
Were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips...

A Rapper's Christmas
YO! the night B4 Christmas, I'm shootin' your house, y'all...
With AK-47s just to get a mouse.

A Florida Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the town,
No Cubans were frozen, no snow fluttered down...

A Gambler's Christmas
'Twas the nite before Christmas, I hit the Casino,
I went there to play, More than just Keno...

A Genealogist's Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse...

A Mom's Christmas
It was the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode
One creature was stirring, cleaning the commode...

The Night Before Chanukah
'Twas the night before Chanukah, boichiks and maidels
Not a sound could be heard, not even the dreidels...

A Redneck Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the trailer
Not a creature was stirrin' 'cept a redneck named Taylor...

A Star Trek Christmas (I)
'Twas the night before Christmas on the Enterprise-D,
On a routine short stop down Starbase 23...

A Star Trek Christmas (II)
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the ship
Not a circuit was buzzing, not one microchip...

A Texas Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, in Texas, you know.
Way out on the prairie, without any snow...

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