YOU KNOW... You're PuertoRican IF...
e all want to represent. It gives us the "good" pride... but, have you measured up lately to see if you walk the walk? Let's see...

You have been spanked with "chancletas"

You know your mom is sneaking up on you cause you can hear her "chancletas" flapping on the linoleum floor.

Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to summon you to dinner and you only live in a one bedroom apartment.

You have ever called linoleum floor a "rug"

You can get to your house blindfolded by the smell of the "chuletas"

You say "Vamo' pa' encima" instead of "Let's get started"

You get scared whenever someone mentions "el CUUUCO"!!!

You remember every Christmas those "aguinaldos" that abuela used to sing for you.

You have gone to titi's house and passed through the "bead curtain" in the living room.

You step into a house that has all those little figurines taking up every inch of space on the tv and under the tv.

You have a porcelain cat/dog/buddha or elephant in your living room.

You have a perpetually drunk uncle.

You know someone in your family named Maria, Chucho, Papo, Tito or Carmen.

You know Don Francisco from Sábado Gigante.

You call rug -carpeta , roof-rufo, parking-palkin, stress-estress, library- libreria instead of biblioteca, boiler-boila, sucker-soca, or to knock-noquiar.

You have told your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a cold.

You need a cup of coffee after every meal.

Your sister has more mustache than your father.

One of your aunt's weighs over 300 pounds.

Your cousins are delinquents.

Your uncle owns more gold than that jewelry shop down the street.

You have sat in a two-passenger car with over seven people in it.

You put a big Puerto Rican flag on your car come June.

You have a picture of "Cristo" in your house.

You think your name begins like this "Ave Maria purísima, Richard"

You walk around saying "chacho" or "chacha" or "ay,bendito".

You have said, "no, hombe" instead of "no, hombre" to both sexes.

You do that funny pointing thing with your nose and if the person doesn't understand you, you use the lips for emphasis.

You can speak with your face, ex: twitch like a rabbit to ask "what do you want?"

You drive a "cheby" (chevy)!

You call all sneakers "tennis" shoes and Converse are "los champions".

All cereal is called "con-flei"

All brands of diapers are called "pampel" or "pampers".

You have ever ground plátanos for pasteles during Christmas time.

Your car has fifteen speakers in it and you fix it every weekend.

You remember when Heineken replaced Shaeffer.

Your dinner consists of a "mixta", rice and beans and some kind of meat.
You know the difference between Carolina rice and everything else.

You have ever lived in the Bronx or Brooklyn.

Your uncle has a wife and a "corteja".

You have ever put a penny on your forehead to stop a nose bleed.

Your mother has put a balled up piece of thread on your baby cousin's forehead to stop her hiccups.

You have at least thirty cousins.

You know how to drive "estandard" or "estick" shift.

You can tell the difference between Bustelo and anything else.

A coqui's sound has driven you crazy.

And last, but not least, your grandmother thinks Vick's vapor-rub is the miracle cure for everything.

You talk with your hands and arms to make your point!

Original list attributed to D.L. Tejera-Ryan, expanded by Don Jibaro Barbablanca) HAVE SOME of YOUR OWN? Tell DJ: donjibaro@gmail.com